Let me start off with a little explanation: I have faith. I love God. Don’t get me wrong. I have faith in my God and all He can do. I have faith He could absolutely take away all pains, sorrows, griefs, doubts, everything.
But being in a religious family and community, it’s hard to say that I have these mental illness issues because a lot of them will say something along the lines of “Have you prayed about it?” “If you have enough faith God will take it all away.” “God won’t give you anything you can’t handle.” These comments really hurt me sometimes and drive me crazy.
First off, how I pray and what I pray about is not a whole lot of your business, to be a little too frank. What I talk to you in private and in trust does not give you the right to judge how I have my faith in God and how I feel like I should approach things.
And also, if you know that I am a religious person, don’t you think I would have prayed about it already? Don’t you think I would have tried to approach my God in my own way to get help?
Another thing is “if I have enough faith” anything can happen. I know the Bible teaches us that and everything, but me going through this hard time does not credit you the opportunity to tell me I’m lacking in faith.
One last point: God won’t give you anything you can’t handle.
I’ve heard this said so many times in my life that I’ve lost count. One thing that faith has taught me is that God will absolutely give you problems and situations you really can’t handle. We will all go through so many hard times that will either break us or make us.
But how we handle them is actually what will make us or break us. If we are going through a really bad relationship, for example, some of us really can’t handle that and will stay in that relationship until it literally kills us.
However, if we use our faith in God and other resources that He gives us, we can definitely handle it. But if we don’t use God, we won’t be able to make it through that trial.
Now that my little rant is over, I can continue.
Trust me, if I could just have God take everything away all at once, I would. And I know that He can. But that’s not exactly how it works.
You see, in my faith, we believe that everything happens for a reason. There is a reason why I have depression. There is a reason that you have found this blog and are reading it. There is a reason why I might not have gone to a certain place because of a bad feeling.
There are so many different reasons to have things happen to us as well. We can learn many lessons from just one incident or experience.
I cannot just faith my depression away. Because I absolutely would if I could and God would take that from me if He didn’t have a plan for me to learn all of the possible lessons I need to from it.
But that’s just not how it works.
Maybe there’s more I need to learn from having depression. Maybe I need to help more people out. Maybe it’s a challenge I need to face over and over and over again in order to REALLY get the lesson. Maybe, maybe, maybe.
Perhaps it’s because God is using this to help me realize that I need to lean on Him more. Maybe it’s because I’ll have a child in the future who has this same problem (and that’s a possibility because, you know, genetics) and I need to go through that problem with them.
Or maybe, it’s just my lot in life and God realizes I really can’t handle it but because He sent me the people I have around me so they can help me through it and help me realize there’s so much more to life than being sad.
I also want to point out that there are so many people out there who have diabetes, asthma, autoimmune diseases, or even cancer. We don’t go up to those people and say, “Have you prayed to God that your diabetes will be cured? If you have enough faith, I’m sure you won’t have any sign of it ever again.”
Mental illness is the same way. There is a hormonal imbalance inside of your body that is causing this perpetual sadness. We can’t faith all of these problems away. Not just physical and illness problems, but situational problems too.
Life already has its ups and downs. But to add a constant imbalance in my head that turns even good things bad sucks. It’s so hard to be happy and to find the good.
But I am lucky in this part because I do have faith. I have faith in a God that can help me through it all and tell me it’s okay to be sad or down.
Of course, one of the absolute best things about God is that He also tells me it’s okay to be happy too. I have faith that I can use Him to help me through the situations I go through and trust in Him that He’s putting me through a problem for the advancement of my own character.
Faith will not take away my depression, but it will make it just even a little bit easier.